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Hello everyone!

Please leave your comments here... Thank you in advance for your feedback and thoughts! Link to the Storybook:

File:Little Bo Peep 2 - WW Denslow - Project Gutenberg etext 18546.jpg
(Little Bo Peep has lost her sheep. Source: Wikimedia)


  1. Hello!
    After finishing reading your introduction, I must say I am very excited to see where you take this storybook! First of all, I love the twist of how Mother Goose claims the nursery rhymes are nowhere near the truth; this makes for such an exciting and intriguing introduction. Also, I enjoyed how you set up three common nursery rhymes and what is associated with each story, so that you can then go and disprove these points when you write your own stories. I wonder if you gave a little more detail into the real version of each story, if it would intrigue the readers even more; but, on the other hand, it is nice to have a little story tease where you don't give away too much information. What if you added in a few more details at the beginning explaining where Mother Goose has been this whole time? I feel like that could help clear up why there have been false versions being told; for instance, maybe all the nursery rhyme characters were holding her hostage? Just a thought!

  2. Lindsay!

    I am so excited about this storybook project. Your introduction was compelling and interesting to read, which made me excited to see what else you have in store. I thought it was interesting that you made Mother Goose the narrator in this project. I love to see how people can write from a perspective different than their own!

    I think the layout of your project is incredible as well. It is nice to look at and very well organized.

    I think you were very clear and organized in the stories that you were going to be telling, which made it easy to envision how your project is going to play out. That is a tip I can probably take from you!

    My only question is why has it taken Mother Goose so long to want to set the record straight? Was there an incident that sent her over the edge and made her decide to correct all these stories? Or maybe she just found out that people have been sharing the stories wrong. Either way, I think it could be fun to know why she is re-telling these stories of hers!

    So fantastic. Cannot wait to come back to this project.

  3. Hi Lindsay!
    Oh my goodness I am so excited for your storybook! Wow! It looks like you are already having a lot of fun with it and there is so much room for creativity. One of my favorite things from you intro was the fact that you made the setting Riddle Ridge. Do you think that all of the stories will occur in Riddle Ridge or will you be telling stories from other places as well? Also, I wonder why Mother Goose's diary disappear. Did someone steal it? If someone did, I hope that comes up and you explain in somewhere in your storybook. Maybe she set it down and forgot that she left it. I suggest focusing on answering the question of who took the diary if you are looking to add more content! Other than that, the lay out looks great. You have the page set up nicely so awesome job!

  4. Hey Lindsay! At first glance, I just want to say that I really liked your website layout! It's very eye-catching and classic-looking, which I think is perfect for the subject you're tackling. So awesome job there! The illustrations you used were great as well-- I really like how they sort of color-coordinate with the layout of the website. It makes everything feel so cohesive. As far as your subject, the real stories of nursery rhymes, I think it's a really interesting idea! It's intriguing to think about the fact that the nursery rhymes we all know and love might be different from how we know them. I think your introduction, where you talked about how someone stole Mother Goose's diary, is very interesting and sets the story up well. I wonder who stole Mother Goose's diary, and why? Maybe it might be a good idea that after you tell all the "real" stories you want to tell, you go back to the present and talk about who stole Mother Goose's diary and what their motivations were. I think that would add a really great new layer to the story.

  5. Hey Lindsay,

    I've always loved nursery rhymes and thought about using that as a topic choice at the beginning of the semester, so that's why I visited your storybook. I love the cover page. The only issue there, as well as on your intro page, is that the links at the top are kind of hard to see. I love the fact that your intro is in the voice of Mother Goose, and I love even more that the nursery rhymes developed from her diary! It is a very interesting twist, and I literally said "oooh" when I read that her diary was gone. I am super excited about the characters that you have chosen, and the alternative story you are going to create for each one of them. It is a little odd how you end each of their descriptions with "here's the truth..." or "here's what happened." It feels weird when it isn't going directly into the story. I would suggest putting a sentence at the end that says that we are about to find out what really happened with all the stories. For example, "What really happened in those stories that you all thought you knew so well? Well, you're about to find out,"... or something like that. Other than that, I think you did a fantastic job of keeping me engaged in your intro, and I am definitely looking forward to reading more of your storybook!

  6. First, I really love your idea! Retelling/setting the record straight is so fun and intriguing! Your aesthetic is well done and your artwork is cute.
    I wonder if you could add a funny vernacular to Mother Goose. Maybe she could "gobble" between sentences or use more slang. Like rather than "continued to the neighboring pasture," you could say, "she high tailed it toward ol' Smithee's pasture." I don't know. Or maybe she isn't American South at all. Maybe her farm roots are part of what needs to be set straight. Maybe she is a high society British snob straight out of Downtown Abbey. It can be what you want, I just wonder if it would be fun to give her a distinct, comical voice.
    The story itself is great though. I love the foreshadowing and the intrigue. Keep it up!

  7. Hey there Lindsay! I just had the chance to take a look at your project for this semester. I chose to take a look at it because I was drawn in by the title. Upon looking at your site images and style, I really like what you have chosen to do so far. The images match the overall aesthetic of nursery rhymes, and provide a fun element to the project. I like how you chose to write as if you were Mother Goose herself, but in modern times. You can tell by the tone/style of writing that people in today's day and age could really understand the stories that have been told in the past. I also liked how you told us what stories you were going to highlight, as it leave the reader excited to see how you are going to present them. Little Bo Peep is a classic tale, and I was happy to see that it was included as your first page. Keep up the good work!

  8. Hi Lindsay!

    I really enjoyed your story and idea of what really happened in the nursery rhymes. I especially like the cross over with baa baa black sheep into little bo peeps story. I like that you took an innocent short nursery rhyme and created a whole story for it! I really enjoyed reading it. I cannot wait for you to finish reading your other stories and see what you come up with. My project is kind if similar in that I tell fairytale stories but mesh the famous characters together. For example Peter Pan is the Pied Piper and Rumplestiltkins was the big bad wolf. I wonder if you are going to keep meshing the nursery rhymes together. That would be a fun to read. Your intro gave a nice and clear understanding of the direction of your blog. I also like of voice, based in your own intro, I feel like i sense a lot of your humor in the intro via mother goose. I can't wait to read more of your story.

  9. This is a comment about your first story!

    I was shocked when I found out the character was the black sheep - another nursery rhyme character. You did a great job of merging two stories to create one unique one! It was really awesome to see your creativity flow and watch a new story come to life. I was a little confused about the purple smoke and what Little Bo Peep drank. Was is specifically the mix that made her fall asleep? Or did it have the effect on her brain where she thought she heard the sheep? I think clarifying that and making it more prevalent in the story could really make it hit! What if the potion had been fed to her sheep as well, and that is what made them scatter? What if there was an extension that explained what happened to the black sheep after Bo Peep found out it was the culprit?

    This was a fantastic story and I think a few more details could make it even better! Great job and fun read.

  10. Hi Lindsay!
    I love the concept of your storybook! Nursery rhymes are an iconic part of our culture, but I've always felt like there was more to them than initially meets the eye! I'm glad you've decided to explore this in your writing. The introduction is very well written and sets up the suspense for the rest of the stories to come. I also like how you frame Mother Goose as the omniscient presence; she is the creator of the stories and needs to set the record straight on how the tales are being represented. I would consider adding a closing to the introduction such as "sincerely" or "best wishes" to make the introduction seem more personal. It starts out with the feel of a personal letter, and I think a closing would reinforce this. Little Bo-Peep's tale is very intriguing. Why was she so quick to drink the purple liquid? And was she ever able to find her sheep? I like how you've ended with the confused "baa"-ing of the sheep - it's a quirky way to wrap up.

  11. Lindsay,

    I visited your storybook two weeks ago, and wanted to visit it again to read your first story since your introduction captivated me. I loved the twist you put onto Little Bo Peep, but I don't like how you left it with a cliff-hanger. You did have a minor typo that I wanted to bring to your attention, "Worried by this, I few down and woke Bo-Peep." I do think your story could have benefited by some more details. What made her drink a purple liquid? I know she was probably thirsty, but why would she trust something that's purple and left out in the woods? Also, are we to assume the sheep are dead? I do like "Riddle Ridge" as the name of your town, it's super catchy and relevant!

  12. I think that it is a cool idea to retell some of the old nursery rhymes. Telling it from mother goose’s perspective is clever, for it lets you get a bird’s eye view on the stories and it also gives a character which we are able to relate to. It may be a fun idea to build upon her diary being stolen and flesh out that story. I enjoyed the first story, but I have a few notes. I really do not understand why bo-peep drank the purple liquid, it did not seem like anything was driving her to do so. Maybe have the smoke knock her out or have an alluring sweet smell from the drink, just something that would make a person want to drink a random thing found in the forest. Is her catching the black sheep really the end? That is such an abrupt ending and I am left looking for more. What does she do with the sheep, does she get her flock back?

  13. Your website has a classic layout and pulls the audience in! The title is intriguing as well. In the introduction, I loved how you had a few sentences about each story that will be included. Having Mother Goose as the narrator is such a great idea! It fits with the concept, and the audience is able to see the story from a different perspective. You also had plentiful amounts of detail in the introduction and clarified the details. I was curious about a few things. I wonder why Mother Goose waited after many generations to tell her original stories. Was she in a position where she could not tell the stories from her point of view? The first story was great as well! The twist of having an evil character made the story seem mysterious and more magical. I also wondered why Bo Beep drank the purple liquid? Was she attracted to it somehow? Also, what happened to her lost sheep? Overall, the introduction and the first story were amazing and left me wanting for more!

  14. Hey there Lindsay,

    I loved your introduction to the story book. I think it is great that you are telling the stories from the mother goose perspective. It will provide some new ideas towards these nursey rhymes on top of your retelling of them. I am really excited to read the story about humpty dumpty and him falling off a wall. I have never thought about taking the classic nursey rhymes and giving them more of a twist. The detail you provided in your introduction really helped me as a reader, understand what the goal of your story book was going to be. I am wondering if there is going to be a way you can lead each story into the next one. Maybe talking briefly about the upcoming story or Mother Goose’s perspective on the characters? I wonder what the characters are going to go through to make up the new nursery rhymes. I am looking forward to reading your stories! Great Job!

  15. Hi Lindsay,
    Your introduction to your storybook was awesome. I love this concept of telling from the perspective of Mother Goose. Your introduction was very informative on your goal for this story book and its beautifully and well planned out. I would love to read the rest of your story as it persist. This is a great topic to tackle because I think this can relate to everyone in this childhood years. This is the frist story ive read from the Myth section (Im in the Indian Epics). I think its funny you are creating a whole story based off this topic of the nursey rhymes. I like how your gave the characters a new personality and were really creative with your story line of Bo-Peep. I think the only thing I would add is a better transistion for the next chapter, or like a sneak peak. I really did enjoy reading this, thank you for taking the time to entertain me!

  16. Hi Lindsay,

    Hm, insider scoop from Mother Goose herself… this is going to be interesting! (And what a great engraving in your introduction.)

    Who would have every expected Baa Baa Black Sheep to be the villain, or to hear the name “Baa Baa” in such an accusatory context?

    I’m going to make the opposite comment of that I usually make. It’s great that you break out your story into paragraphs, but I think that I you don’t need to paragraph break every single sentence. Rather, break when there’s a pause in the action, a shift in subject, or dialogue. That way it will still be easy to read, but the flow of the text and the story can be maintained much more easily. (This is a way better problem to have than the reverse — a total lack of breaks — which can make a story unreadable.)

    Looking forward to reading more!


  17. Hey Lindsay,

    I was super stoked when I saw that you had another story in your storybook. First off, I love the picture of Humpty Dumpty that you used. Adding Bo Peep was an awesome surprise, as I know you used her in your first story. I love that you were able to tie her in. The message about the muffin recipe was brilliant! It definitely made the story more whimsical and fun! You have done such a great job grabbing my attention. Leaving the story the way you did definitely has me sitting on the edge of my chair. I'm assuming the next story is about the muffin man. I can't wait to read more!!

  18. Hello Lindsay,
    I have been debating on choosing this story for the past few weeks and now that I have read it I am happy that I chose it. I loved reading your story about Little Bo-Beep. It was a very descriptive tale and it made me feel like I was reading a classic fairy tale. This classic fairy tale was so much more in depth though. I loved how you told this tale from the perspective of an outside character. It made the narrative element of this story feel more genuine than a talking head. I think that was the golden point in this story, the unique storytelling action of making your narrator an active character in the plot while carrying a non-main character role was really cool to read through.

  19. Hi Lindsay!

    I am back to have my burning question answered which was what really happened to humpty dumpty? I think that you did a good job meshing the two nursery rhyme from humpty dumpty and the muffin man while also doing a good job incorporating characters from the first story into the second. I think it was a nice way to make everything cohesive. I like the detail you put into making a short nursery rhyme into a whole interesting story. I was so sad to find out that humpty dumpty essentially died from the great fall. It was ancient touch to make the muffin man the culprit of this story. It left me at a giant cliff hanger as well! I cannot wait to check back in later to see how you wrap up this story! I wonder who you will pull in and how you will mesh the previous stories into your third one.

  20. Hello Lindsay! I just read your story about Humpty Dumpty and I am shocked!! How could the muffin man take Humpty, the clown of the neighborhood, away from everyone? I love the concept of your stories and that you take classic nursery rhymes and transform them into something of your own. You did a great job writing this and I will sure to read all your stories!! You had just enough detail to make the nursery rhyme come alive. I am curious to why Humpty was by himself? At the beginning, it was made known that most of the neighborhood kids sat on the wall, but this time Humpty Dumpty was all by himself?
    I love that you ended this story with a slight cliffhanger to lead into your last one. I wonder who will be in it and what story it will be centered around? Since the muffin man in baking in an over, will Hansel and Gretel be in the oven too? I am so curious to see where you take this.

  21. Hi Lindsay!

    I was so excited to read your storybook once I saw it was about nursery rhymes, I have always thought for myths-folklore stories they are so light-hearted and fun to read. I love that your Intro as well as your other stories are told from the perspective from Mother Goose, just because I feel like she's an overarching figure for nursery rhymes and you hit that nail right on the head. I think you're a great writer, and I love how you made Mother Goose tell her stories in a more casual, modern-day kind of way. Unfortunately I really don't have any critiques for you because I love everything about your storybook! I think the old-timey pictures you chose are a great addition as well, plus they add great colors to your pages. Maybe put a little divider between the stories and the author's note? I'm looking forward to reading your last story! Great job!

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  23. Hi Lindsay! I really enjoyed reading your storybook. I loved the part of the introduction where you built up suspense about the true happenings in Riddle Ridge and the skewed versions we'd heard about. Speaking of Riddle Ridge, I like that you incorporated a common setting between all your stories. It makes all of them feel more cohesive and is a great form of world-building. In your first story, I couldn't help but wonder what the black sheep's motivation is. Why would he want to steal the wool from Little Bo-Peep's sheep? What would he gain from it? Was it purely profit? I'm not sure if you wanted to leave this up to the reader's interpretation but if not, you could try expanding on that a little more in the Author's note. I also liked your incorporation of other nursery rhymes into your main ones and the connection between the second and third story in the storybook. You explained these decisions very well in your author's note. My only suggestion would be to add links to the original versions of the additional nursery rhymes as well. Good luck on the rest of the semester!

  24. Hi Lindsay,
    I really enjoyed your story book a lot. I thought that images that were included in the banner at the beginning of the stories were perfect. They gave me a full-blown idea about what I was going to read about. Honestly, I haven’t read nursery rhymes in forever. This really brought me back to my childhood. Also, having Mother Goose being the kind of narrator was amazing. If I remember correctly, she was always the one involved in the stories in some way. So, I feel that that really connects all the stories together. I love the twist that you included when you had to muffin man show up and take humpty away. I totally did not see that coming and thought it was a great surprise. It is hard to find anything wrong with your story book. I think overall, this story book is excellent, and I cannot wait to read another story if you choose to add one. Keep up the great work!

  25. Hello Lindsay,
    Earlier this year I chose to read your stories and I loved them, I'm glad I get to have the chance to read them again! I loved reading your story about Little Bo-Beep. It was a very descriptive tale and it made me feel like I was reading a classic fairy tale. This classic fairy tale was so much more in depth though. I loved how you told this tale from the perspective of an outside character. It made the narrative element of this story feel more genuine than a talking head. I think that was the golden point in this story, the unique storytelling action of making your narrator an active character in the plot while carrying a non-main character role was really cool to read through.

  26. Hey Lindsay! I'm back to read your storybook project again, and I really like what you've done with it! All of your stories are so creative and interesting. Again, it was a very cool idea to take the nursery rhymes most of us know so well and tell the "real story". Your writing is very descriptive and easy to read, so it draws the reader in and keeps them interested as they read. This week, we're supposed to talk about your paragraphing. I really like the way you've organized your paragraphs in your writing. Breaking up each paragraph into multiple lines works really well and makes your writing so easy to read. It even adds some suspense in certain situations! I think that super long paragraphs make it so difficult for a reader to stay interested in a story, so I liked that you broke things up! It really helps your story. Great job!

  27. Hello again, Lindsay! I hope this semester has been treating you well. I’m excited to finally read your storybook project, “Nursery Rhymes!”

    First of all, I love the imagery and lettering that you’ve chosen for your website. The cool tones of the illustrations along with the vintage font works well in relation to one other. It’s easy to scroll through the website, and I haven’t seen any formatting issues to mention.

    I enjoy the way you portrayed the characters through Mother Goose’s point of view. First person is hard to write, though I think using a journalistic approach was a good choice for this project. I should mention that the first story is the only one where Mother Goose signs off with her name, which was slightly confusing when reading the second story. It might be good to have her signature at the end of each entry, almost like a diary.

    Otherwise, I liked reading each story and following Mother Goose on her adventures with Bo-Peep, Humpty, and Hickory. I enjoy your writing style and hope you continue to tell stories in the future. Well done!

  28. I absolutely love the nod that you gave to the muffin man. It is perfect that you included his address, what a nice detail. I think it makes sense as to why the muffin man wanted him to fall. He had motive and the means sounded pretty easy. I am surprised that humpty dumpty only made one batch worth of muffins. Were bo peep and mother goose really goose really going to eat his muffins, they contained humpty dumpty, at least I think they did. How did hickory’s spell work? Did he rewind time so humpty never fell? Or what exactly did he do? I really liked how you connected all of your stories. I think that they flowed into one another well. I also like the brevity of your “paragraphs”. Almost every sentence has its own line. I think that makes it easy to read and fits the children’s stories aspect well.

  29. I think you did a wonderful job with your Hickory Dickory Dock story. When you said that he only came down for an hour, but no one knew why, it lured me in more and I couldn't wait to find out the reasoning for this rushed hour. I love that you were also able to tie your past characters into the new stories. I was upset, however, that I never found out while Hickory was only out for an hour. Overall, great job on your Storybook. I loved all of your stories, and the way you were able to tie them all together!

  30. Hey Lindsay! I just finished reading through your storybook, and I really like how everything came together. I love how you provide a little bit of background to the nursery rhymes in your introduction before throwing in a twist and revealing that they might not all be true. You also do a great job of giving us a taste of each story without revealing the entire plot, which draws the reader in to your storybook. All your stories are very descriptive! I like how you provide concise yet vivid imagery throughout your story, whether it's a bubbling purple liquid or a red brick wall. I also like how you put in the actual recipe for muffins in your story. It's definitely the first recipe I've read on a storybook this semester, and it adds another interesting feature to your story. Overall, you did a great job of tying together every page of your storybook, and I'm really impressed with the final product!


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